2003-08-10 - 10:12 p.m.
Blue Camo and Butter Cows
I knew I was going to update tonight. At one point, I'm sure I had an idea of what I was going to say. It's gone now -- figures. Words, ideas, and I have a triangular adversarial relationship lately. That wouldn't be so bad if I didn't insist on writing poetry. Though I haven't written much lately.
That's almost a lie -- there is one poem I've turned out that I realized isn't for anyone to see. That's silly, probably. And it isn't because it's a bad poem, per se. Mostly because... well, among other things, because it's a response to something that as far as I know doesn't actually involve me in any way. And partly because... I'm not sure, I've been doing that more lately -- writing things that aren't for anyone to see.
I know it might not be nice to collectively tell you, but I think maybe some day I will let someone see the stuff that's been going into the green book that isn't making it here in any form. Just throw the book at one of a few possible people, and say, "Here. Just don't laugh too loudly where I can here you."
What else is there to pretend to talk about?
Yesterday was fun, overall. For one thing, it's always great to get a chance to hang out with Talcott again. I'm to the point now where I can almost forget how much I miss being able to hang out every weekend -- until I do get a chance to see 'im. Took him his birthday presents, which he seemed to like, which makes me happy.
I'm never sure how well I do with presents for people, but I'm usually convinced I do at least passingly well with him. It seems like a funny thing to say, since it isn't like there was really a gap between for me to have known how it would be without, but that might be one of my favorite things about considering someone a best friend. There's a relaxation factor, even in the things that usually feel the most important.
Then again, it could just be relief -- I'm usually the type to fret over presents for the people I'm close to. I always want to find the perfect gift, always afraid I'm revealing something I didn't realize I didn't know about them, always having to (try to) curb my impulse to overdo.
Over doing presents is just sort of a thing with me, I guess. I like to blame my mom, since that's how she is too. It's just hard -- especially when you're of the mind that you've got the money available -- to not go all out trying to show your affection. And it isn't even just that, it's wanting them to be as happy as knowing them makes you.
What makes it hard is that so many people assume you're either trying to proove something, or that you're trying to buy their friendship or love, or something like that. And that's not it. It isn't showing off. It's seeing something that you think someone would like, and being able to give it to them just to see them smile. No reason is needed -- in our house, "prizes" can happen at any time, just because someone might like something that's been spotted, and it happens to be obtainable with ease. (Granted, "prizes" are generally "cheap plastic toys" and similarly classed items. It's the thought that counts. Plus, we like cheap plastic toys.)
While I'm on the topic -- mom got me a prize at the flea market yesterday. I'm now the proud owner of a bandanna that (mostly) matches my blue camouflage pants. (the word camouflage looks wrong to me. But who am I to argue with spellchecker in the rare moments I remember to use it) It'll match better when it's been washed enough to start fading out like the pants have.
Anyway, I started to tell you about yesterday. The fair was fun, and I could probably say a lot about it, but I'm lacking in motivation to do so. And Taco Ninja (aside from having an amusing name) brings good food. And I know better than to go into Used Kids when I've got even part of a mental list of things I need to get and/or start listening to. Still, it was only 25 bucks.
The conversation was amusing while we were walking around. At one point we were trying to assign Buffy characters to the crew from BG. So help me, if I have a nightmare about Uriah being Faith, I'm really really really going to have to drive back down to Columbus and do major damage to Talcott. Major damage. You just don't understand the levels of hurting that will have to happen.
I'm still trying to work out how exactly Talcott convinced me to go on the sky ride. Other than that I had things I wanted to talk to him about and (as he himself agreed/pointed out) when I'm nervous I tend to babble or go increadibly quiet, depending on what it is that's causing me to suppress freaking out.
What's amusing about that is one of the things I'd considered bringing up didn't become a conversation until later on when we were having a brief sit-down to recover our wits. (And, in his case, have a quick bite to eat.)
Oh, two things I will say about the fair -- the butter cow baffles me, and some idiot(s) evidently think that the island is named Put-In-Bay, not the town on the island. It's Middle Bass. What gets me about this is that the same paragraph on my own dear county did mention South Bass Island by name. *sigh* Of course, then there was the bizzare imagery of the climbing wall that was made to resemble a gigantic ear of corn, so who am I to judge?
I'm tired, and I'm pathetic. And I probably should go to bed soon, though I'm surely not going to manage that.
Still, I ought to stop before I say something entirely stupid. Or oddly profound. I'm just not in the mood to be profound tonight.
previous howl
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Murrrrrrffff? - 2005-01-04
A Late Review - 2004-09-12
Weekend Update - 2004-08-08
Intermission - 2004-08-07
Rambling or something. - 2004-07-31
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