2003-08-24 - 9:12 p.m.
Not the Greatest Weekend.
Right, so this may be all over the place. You probably expect that by now, so I won't offer too enthusiastic an apology for that.
I will warn you I might stop this entry pretty abruptly -- I've had a horrific headache for pretty much the whole day, and it's under control, but making credible threats about a return. I'll be going directly to the pillows if that happens.
Anyway, starting with what was more obviously bad this weekend. My "Aunt" (That is to say, one of my older cousins who was always called "Aunt" when I was small) Patti is selling my Grandpa's place. This bums me out. This bums a lot of us out, actually -- it isn't just that it's been his place as long as I can remember it. When my Mom's generation were kids, that was where their Grandma lived. So it's been in the family for a long time. And everyone has memories bound up there. And she's selling it. And I know if any of the rest of us had the money, she'd've sold to one of us, but no one does have that money just now, and... well, it's just really depressing. I found this out on Friday, when I wasn't in the best of moods to begin with.
Started as a sort of general funk -- I shouldn't be surprised; I've been in such a good mood so much lately, I knew a funk of some sort shouldn't be far off. But, as usual, general moodiness turned into introspection of a less-than-helpful sort.
I realized that, as far as I can see, there is nothing truely impressive about me. Yes, I have strong points, yes there are thing I am passably good at. But what is impressive on an honest level? I can make an impression on people, I've done it, I do well in calm professional settings that are limited enough to remain extremely impersonal. (Well, unless my paperwork is following the trend of being lost, then I start to come a bit unglued.) I'm not impressive. That's not really a big thing, except it gets me thinking about all the people I know who are impressive.
I do know a lot of impressive people -- to be fair, I know others who come across as perfectly non-standouts as well. But I know some who can just blow you away. Some of them can do so in numerous ways. And I sort of wonder about that. How is it that some of these impressive people see fit to keep company with me?
It's tempting, of course, to chalk it up to the fact that any social dynamic needs those against whom the outstanding can... well, stand out. And I entertain that notion in more negative moments.
But, (and this coming after a weekend that has on the whole been less good than it has been bad-to-middlin') ultimately I think I've decided to wonder what it is they see in me that I myself can't see. Of course, then that makes me curious as to why it is that I can't see whatever they do. But that's probably a pondering for an evening when my head doesn't already hurt.
The weekend hasn't been an entire loss, though. I might even be wrong -- it might have balanced at the end after all. Friday night at Amici was absolutely great, for example. And, overall, I had a good time with Mom on Saturday. Got her to see Pirates. *grin* She liked it as much as I did, I think. Which is good, I'm still doing well judging her tastes in media.
Of course, I spent too much money. The only way to get her out was to make her promise she'd let me pick up the tab for most of the day. (Dad still not working means finances have to be a lot stricter for a while.) And then I bought too many pairs of new sunglasses. I only needed two -- a new pair of dark wrap-arounds for driving, and a new pair of ambers for bad weather driving. I got... uhm... four, I think? Red and Amber shooter's glasses (really great for non-distortion of contrast), dark wrap-arounds, and a new pair of blues, in a different style. Kind of different style of what I usually go with, but mom and I both oddly think they look kind of nifty on me. So, yeah.
And a new belt. You don't care that I bought a new belt, but I thought of it just now, and so wrote it. That's probably some sort of cue that I ought to be done writing for the night.
Besides that, my head is indeed starting to hurt again. Oh boy.
And this week is going to be really odd, since we're rolling from one job to another mid-day on Monday. (We only have about 4 roads left in Ashland. If the Foreman believed in working slightly more than he does, we could've finished last week.)
But, hey, that probably means I won't have to accomplish much tomorrow. By the time we're able to leave Ashland and drive down to the new jobsite (which I believe is going to be a bit of a drive. Not 5 hours bad, but probably at least 3) I'm not sure there'll be any time left to get to work on the new county.
Er, right. Sleep now.
previous howl
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Murrrrrrffff? - 2005-01-04
A Late Review - 2004-09-12
Weekend Update - 2004-08-08
Intermission - 2004-08-07
Rambling or something. - 2004-07-31
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