2003-10-29 - 4:21 a.m.
Mixed bag? Nah... box of chocolates.
Short entry. Then I swear I'm going to bed. I meant to like a long time ago. Stupid fanfic on sights I'd forgotten I'd bookmarked because I didn't think they were active... Er... right.
Day started out so-so. Same ol' routine, kind of thing. You know?
Day proceeded to get crappy. And/or at least awkward. I'll explain about that later.
Day then got much better, even hitting the grinning-like-an-idiot phase (OK, OK, so I should be saying night and not day. But you guys know this time of year night and day are practically interchanged things half the time, right?) -- then it settled down just to the sort of even-keel happy it's been way too long since I've seen.
Don't get me wrong -- don't think I've suddenly gone all optimist. (I just almost typed Optimus there. Heh.) But I'm settling down into the "I have a handle on some of my stress" phase, I think.
I've finally really started to relax over some things that shouldn't've been stress-factors in the first place. (Silly, silly girl I am.) And, in spite of having no reason to think so, I think I'm going to let myself believe that everything else is going to work out, somehow. Maybe I'll have to take a hit in order to work out, but afterwards it will all be fine, and I'll have a slightly amusing story to add to the string of ways that various government-type things and the forces of the universe have conspired against me.
The drivers liscence thing worked out OK in the end, didn't it? The insurence thing (closely related) seemingly worked itself out OK, right? Hell, the slacking-off-ruining-my-record thing my Senior year of HS still saw me pull off the Honours Diploma in the end. And that was the one blatant self-defeating example.
And, though it took forever to straighten out, and I'd be in better position now if it'd gone sooner situation with paying back the loans from the disaster that I call my year at BG eventually sorted itself to resolution.
(Incidentally, don't ever think I regret my year at BG. If I hadn't been there -- if I hadn't roomed with Cait which was largely regarded as a Bad Idea, and almost led to the complete dissolusion of our friendship -- well, I wouldn't ever have met the people I met then. I wouldn't have Amanda to talk gaming shop with. Wouldn't've gotten the gift that is Talcott's friendship. Would maybe never have gotten into Früvous -- and without that and everything that's gone with it? Well, to put it mildly I'd be in a vastly different place than I am now. I wouldn't have a lot of the friends I have. Wouldn't know of so much other music I now enjoy... Ye gods. It's time to end this paranthetical statement -- I've waxed far too sentimental. And it's gone on way longer than any set of parens should extend. *L*)
So, yeah. Maybe it is me being ever-so-slightly in the "half-full" camp just now. But you know, there's one thing about my family. The universe can crap on us repeatedly, but we spring back. We're strong like that. Thinks work out in the end. And even when they don't, we go on. That's just how it is. That's just how we are.
And sure, if it weren't for one rat lawer three generations ago? We'd probably be rich. But you know what? I wouldn't be here. So in a weird way, even that isn't so bad.
(It's still nice to think about growing up with money and heading a buisiness empire, though. I mean, if I had been here anyway? Son-firstborn daughter-only child. We'd be sitting pretty in this fantasy of what the family might have been. But then again, not only would I not be here, I bet a lot of my cousins wouldn't be either. And as much as I sometimes gripe about some of them, they're family too -- there I go again, with the really long sentimental paranthetical statements. Someone stop me!)
*a giant hook appears and yanks your sleepy writer off the computer*
Thank you, and good night.
*nod*
previous howl
next howl
Murrrrrrffff? - 2005-01-04
A Late Review - 2004-09-12
Weekend Update - 2004-08-08
Intermission - 2004-08-07
Rambling or something. - 2004-07-31
Visitations:
Other Webdiaries:
[removed, pending update]
Online Comics:
User Friendly
Sluggy Freelance
PVP
Fans
RPG World
Suburban Jungle
Wandering Ones
Other Links:
Beast Wars RPG
RPG Survey
Fanfiction.net
Quoted
X-Entertainment