2004-01-29 - 9:59 p.m.
In which I babble like an idiot. As usual.
Oh look. Box text. Before I get started, I just wanted to say I'm still standing by my opinion that I will post the amazingly belated story of my November NY trip before I leave for FruCon. Now on with an entry that doesn't have anything to do with my procrastination.
Lately... I don't know. There was a day when it was better, and I felt at the time it was a fluke, and so I found it hard to let go.
I'll try again. Lately, I feel like you just want me to leave you alone. I'm doing my best to put that aside, because it's almost certainly just me being me, and the fact that it's winter so I don't get out much makes that worse. That's all fine, but like I said, I found it hard to let go the other day when things seemed momentarily different. That makes me wonder if I look as though I'm scrabbling for crumbs. And that's not how I want to look, because it's really not how it is.
So, I'm doing what I can to rid myself of this notion that you want me to leave you alone. After all, my being or seeming that insecure in what has so often been such a close friendship isn't really right.
But, there's a problem with that. If you really are thinking I should leave you be - I'm going to be trying so hard to move past what I think is my neurotic side showing, that I'll miss the hints.
So I'll make a reminder that you really don't need, because we've had this conversation before.
If you want me to leave you alone, just tell me. I'll take you off buddy lists and friendlists, and I won't pester unless spoken too. I've done it for other people, I can do the same for you.
Now whatever. Smite me for being all... this again. Ignore me. Tell me to leave you alone. Whatever.
I'm not really saying any of it for you. I'm saying it for me. I've been realizing that for a while now - I just don't know if that's a good thing or a bad one.
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Murrrrrrffff? - 2005-01-04
A Late Review - 2004-09-12
Weekend Update - 2004-08-08
Intermission - 2004-08-07
Rambling or something. - 2004-07-31
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