2004-03-14 - 5:23 a.m.
and now I've accomplished something today
Hmm... well, it's been suggested I write up an entry. And honestly, I was thinking to myself just today (or was it yesterday?) that I should make another entry soon. And so, yeah.
*turns monitor brightness down* Much better. I'll have a break before the inevitable headache hits now. It's not too bad now. Only went down to 30, not the lowest it will go. I don't actually have a headache at the moment. Just that "I'm going to be in pain soon" sort of feeling in my head. Very similar to the "I'm not feeling the actual pain, but I know I still have a headache" that sometimes meds will leave when it's a bad one.
So... yeah. Why exactly is Minnesota not right next to Ohio like Michigan is? *L* OK, so I've been saying that a lot the last couple of days. But I think I've got a little room to whine.
I'm in... well, I'm in such the good mood. I don't do connections with people often. And it's much more rare for them to be those fast sticking connections that come on so soon you'd almost think they'd been there already, and you just hadn't known.
The thing making typing difficult is that I'm all wanting to talk all about it, but I'm lacking in words.
I really very much hate the way words fail me when I want them most. I write. A lot. This coming Thursday I'm even going to a poets version of OMN, essentially on a personal invitation to please do so. And I'm used to being able to express so much with words. Not always successfully, but at least moderately.
And then something - sometimes good, sometimes bad - happens, and the words just don't exist. Either I don't have the way to make someone else feel better, or (as in this case) I don't have the way to get across what it is I'm feeling, exactly. And while some people could just shrug and leave that be, I can't - not easily. And that gets to me. Partly just because I think the words should come as easily as they do at other times. (Ha! I have how many dictionaries? And Thesaruses? I'm always obsessed with finding the word(s) that exactly says what I mean.) And partly because I worry that if I can't articulate something as immidate and real to me as what I'm feeling sometimes, how can I expect that anything I try to get across really comes through the way I mean it to?
*blink* When did this become about my writing? Wait, it's always about my writing, isn't it? Seems that way sometimes.
I've lost whatever narrative thread this was going to have. Oh well. I suppose most people sticking 'round to read this anymore are used to that. And the people who come here on strange search results pages won't mind much. -- I should do another entry of odd search hits again. I also have a huge stockpile of silly internet quiz results I've got to post up soon. So not happening tonight.
So I went to the bar tonight, for 45 minutes. Wanted to not be home, but didn't really want to be at the bar alone. So I guess it's good that Talcott and I got to talking, and I didn't head out until 1am. At least I still stayed 'til last call this way. *L*
I didn't bother taking the cd player out to the car (Have I mentioned there is currently no radio/audio of any kind in the car? Got to either run the tiny speakers (bad idea, car is loud especially with window cracked), or run the discplayer through the crappy radio boombox-ish-thing). But I wasn't talking to myself all the way to and from town like I usually am when I don't have music. I was just sort of... thinking. Out hunting words I'm not sure exist. And on the way back, I was singing. Iowa, twice, and then an out-of-order, truncated version of Nothing Else Matters.
Talcott can stop chuckling now. *shakes head* Hell, I can stop chuckling now. Except I don't want to. Sleepy or not, headache coming on or not... yeah, good mood.
*L* And the non-story of going to brunch with Mom and Grandmother will just have to wait. I'm out of writing steam for the moment.
previous howl
next howl
Murrrrrrffff? - 2005-01-04
A Late Review - 2004-09-12
Weekend Update - 2004-08-08
Intermission - 2004-08-07
Rambling or something. - 2004-07-31
Visitations:
Other Webdiaries:
[removed, pending update]
Online Comics:
User Friendly
Sluggy Freelance
PVP
Fans
RPG World
Suburban Jungle
Wandering Ones
Other Links:
Beast Wars RPG
RPG Survey
Fanfiction.net
Quoted
X-Entertainment