2004-04-25 - 9:43 p.m.
Merf.
Merf.
There was a whole big long diary entry that was going to go up here. But now I'm just not in the mood to go into all of it.
Suffice it to say that my cousin 'Chole is not one of my favorite people right now. I really thought we'd moved past the less-than-nice-though-well-meant events a long time ago.
The logic that what I didn't know couldn't get me in trouble is... troublingly immature given how responsible she usually is with her partying. No matter how you break it down, it was a breach of trust. I didn't think I needed to be suspicious of things she handed me - she's family, and we all just go along.
I still haven't worked out how angry I actually am. If I'm upset enough - and stay that way - I'm going to end up having to have a talk with her the next time I catch her in an unaltered mental state. (No, it isn't that she's drunk or high all the time, just that the only times I see her are usually on a weekend when she's at least moderately partying.)
Hm. On to another topic.
It's been a week since Anne was here. And the reality of this distance is just as painfully acute now as it was when she got on that bus last Sunday night. Rationally, I'd realized that if her visiting here went well, it would make the whole nearly 700 miles thing worse. I just hadn't realized how much harder it would be. Especially in the moments when it blindsides me seemingly out of nowhere.
Back to the "a month" type mantra again. I'm going out there Memorial Day weekend. After I work out a possible schedule issue with Andy this week at work, I'm going to be booking my tickets. (I want to see if I can get him to agree to try to get our 40 in 3 again the week before the holiday. That would let me get an earlier flight out on Thursday, and give me that many more hours between arriving and having to come back home.)
Speaking of work, we're finally going to be back to a "normal" way of doing things. Tomorrow morning, we finish up Sandusky County, take the data back into the office, and then we're headed for Darke County. Back to staying in fairly cheap hotels Monday-Wednesday nights. Oh joy.
But it's strangely a good thing. I've got a little easier time getting control over my sleeping habits when I'm on the road. Fewer distractions that don't matter. The only distractions left are the one that do matter, the ones that are less distractions than other priorities that unfortunately have to share space.
I guess I am rambling on a bit here. Killing time before trying to get to sleep. Got to get into the office early, of course, as it's Monday. Got to do the good responsible Foreman thing.
Some days, I look at what others seem to see in me, and I wonder why they're imagining things. And some days, I look at what they seem to see, and I want to find it for myself - want to find a way to believe it the same way that they do.
I'm getting too introspective. Time to get a little phone time in with my girl, and then sleep the sleep of the soon-to-be-weary.
previous howl
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Murrrrrrffff? - 2005-01-04
A Late Review - 2004-09-12
Weekend Update - 2004-08-08
Intermission - 2004-08-07
Rambling or something. - 2004-07-31
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