2004-05-16 - 11:18 p.m.
Ramble on Work and Travel
Hmm... another too-late-to-be-online Sunday evening. Just got ready for what will probably be a chaotic week of work. First of two chaotic weeks, actually.
This week we're rolling mid-week from job to job. We're set, I think, to finish Darke County's rail by sometime on Tuesday. So we'll head over to Clark County to start there - I think that one is our first (and possibly only) job that's covering both ROW issues and Rail Inventory. Which means I'm going to start training Andy on it.
And next week it's our latest installment of "let's get our 40 done in three days." This time, however, it's my leaving for a trip, not Andy's.
Less than two weeks now - something more like 10 days. And I'll be in Minnesota. With Anne.
I guess it isn't surprising that some of the emotions I've got going right now are similar to the ones leading up to her visit here. Excited, a little nervous, generally geared up, happy... Of course, the drive behind those doesn't exactly match up to what was driving them before she came here to see me.
Excited to see her, of course. And that's only increased by the excitement any trip I take usually causes me. I do love to travel, after all.
A little nervous. Meeting her family, after all. And her friends. And... well, I suppose there is a small part of me that's impossibly worried that how well her visit here went was a fluke, and that this might not go as well. I don't honestly believe that, but being a worrier by nature, I suppose that I don't have to believe something with any sort of conviction in order to be worried by it.
Geared up - again, sort of what comes along with any trip. The excitement of going somewhere I've never been, wondering how the place will seem to me. Anticipating the annoyance that is air travel; aside from the whole security hassle, the hurry up and wait feeling of it all, my ears (right in particular, of course) have been bothering me a bit. I've been taking my decongestant with dedication, and even forcing myself to remember my script nasal spray every dayish, but the flight(s) still might end up being agony. And of course, what Talcott's come to accept my calling "trip stress." A general understanding of all the mundane things that might go wrong - annoyingly or disasterously - on any vacation. I've a long string of otherwise wonderful vacation stories that are marred by some sort of problem or another. Border Guard issues which usually become funny after a year or two. Stupid air-line mixups. Car troubles and scary motels we never intended to stay at. Luckily, in regard to that sort of thing, this trip has much fewer potential pitfalls than most of mine do. No borders to cross, not taking a car, so it mostly comes down to wondering what the airline will fuck up for me this time.
And as for happy... how could I not be? No matter what we do, or where we go... I'm going to be there, for a long weekend, with the one that I love. Happy doesn't even begin to describe it. It's more like needing to see her again than it is like wanting to. This bone-deep desire just to be near her, to know that once again, the miles aren't there, and we can exist in the same space for a time.
And yes. Just like last time I expected I should dread the end of her visit on Sunday, this time I know I dread the end of mine on that Monday. It's going to be just as hard to leave her - if not harder - than it was to take her to the bus station, and know that the space between was forcing its way back. I'm not looking forward to that part at all.
But - and this is the important part - I know that, again, it will have been worth a hundred times worse the hurt of parting, just to have been together for a time.
As usual, I find that no words will do it justice. And so, given that it's already a good bit beyond when I should have logged off for the evening, I shall take a break from trying.
Time to quiet myself down enough to catch a few winks. This week will be a little hectic, and the next will no doubt be worse. But at the end of them, I know she's there. That's all I need to keep going happily, in stead of just keep going.
previous howl
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Murrrrrrffff? - 2005-01-04
A Late Review - 2004-09-12
Weekend Update - 2004-08-08
Intermission - 2004-08-07
Rambling or something. - 2004-07-31
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