2004-06-13 - 10:59 p.m.
no more laundry elf?
I didn't make it to the hospital to see Mom today. I got up later than I had intended (because I stayed out a good deal later than I intended, walking and talking with a possible new bar buddy). By the time I had the laundry enough under control that I probably could've put off finishing until I got home, there were thunderstorm, flood, and even tornado watches and warnings up all over this part of the state. I figured (correctly, as it turns out) that I'd be more-or-less yelled at if I'd gone out in that mess, even to visit Mom. I did call, and talked to her briefly.
Hopefully she'll get to go home tomorrow. I hope I hope I hope. I don't like her being in the hospital - for a variety of reasons. Some of them obvious, some of them less so. Hospitals - even with insurance - are expensive. And at this rate, not only will I end up paid back to "current" in terms of what I owe, I'm going to end up having to find a second job, and finding a way to convince her to let me contribute more to the household bills, because money's going to be tighter than ever with new medical bills cropping up too.
Of course, the frenzy of a second job on weekends (while exhausting) will serve to offer me near-complete distraction.
*shakes head* What am I saying. As much as it might be nice, that's not what I need. I'm probably doing too good a job distracting myself as it is.
Keep bouncing back and forth on that count. Some days it's obvious to me that I'm burying myself in one distraction or another - not all of them healthy, I admit. And some days I'm obviously thinking a little too much, a little too deeply.
I'll shut myself up now. By this point, anyone still actually following probably has a very good idea of where I stand. Both completely bewildered, and completely unhappy with where things have ended up, and knowing all the while that my hands are tied to any task except groping blindly for the tools to start rebuilding (remaking, reinventing, choose your term) myself.
Only other thing to say is again a repeat of what's passed here before - if I had the option, I'd be back in it in a heartbeat.
6am comes mighty early, and while I'm packed up, I don't have everything out to my car, and I'll want to shower. So I ought to flop down on the ol' bed now. In spite of sleeping so late in the day, I find myself oddly exhausted.
previous howl
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Murrrrrrffff? - 2005-01-04
A Late Review - 2004-09-12
Weekend Update - 2004-08-08
Intermission - 2004-08-07
Rambling or something. - 2004-07-31
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